There are so many misconceptions out there about the pick up artist lifestyle. From an outsider’s point of view, being a pick up artist, also known as a PUA might seem to be a little shady, a little self-indulgent, a little arrogant. Not so.

Ultimately, at the heart of it, a pick up artist is a guy who has enough self-confidence to go after what he wants in the most effective way possible. It does not involve hurting others. It does not involve using other people. What it involves is creating an amazing life where the PUA is offering his very best self to everyone he meets – men and women. It doesn’t have to involve being charismatic, but that always seem to naturally follow as a result of the self-confidence that is developed.

The best pick up artists are the guys who aren’t jerks because they don’t need to be jerks. They are so successful in their efforts to meet women that they can afford to be generous with their time and knowledge. Most of the time, when someone meets a guy who is a jerk or a bad boy or a player, it is because at the heart of it, maybe even deep down inside where they don’t even realize it, they are insecure. That is usually the reason any guy acts this way.

A PUA with confidence and who genuinely likes himself would never be a jerk to men or women. There is no need for it. A true pick up artist is out there enjoying life, naturally knowing how to impress a girl without trying and and having a great time. People are naturally attracted and drawn to him because they want what he has.

Now let’s take a look at the other side of the coin – what men in the pick up artist community teach others who are less experienced. What they are teaching these men is how to build their self-confidence with women. At the heart of that is gaining a healthy level of self confidence where the guy realizes he doesn’t have to put up with a woman treating him badly and that he deserves an amazing woman in his life because he is a great guy. Sadly, many of us need to learn that. Sometimes we think we are lucky that any woman likes us and will put up with unreasonable behavior just to keep a woman around.

Men in the PUA community help teach others that it really isn’t about being the best looking or richest guy in the room, it is more about the man’s level of respect for himself and his ability to enjoy his life. These are things that can be taught and learned. The pick up artist community also focuses on teaching men communication skills so they are comfortable approaching a beautiful woman and have some tips and techniques in their pocket to make it go smoothly.

There is nothing wrong with that. Even the most successful PUA will admit he wasn’t always that way. It is smart to try to hone your communication skills and learn techniques to be the best man you can be. And at the core, that is what being a pick up artist is all about.